Relationship & Couples Counselling in Vancouver
The version of "couples counselling" a lot of people picture is a married couple who've quietly become roommates, politely coexisting and planning who’s picking up the kids instead of actually connecting. They sit in an office with a therapist with glasses and a clipboard prompting them to slow down and use “I” statements.
If that IS you, that’s still great! We see it plenty, and we can help.
But reminder: therapy isn’t just for middle aged married couples! This is for partners of any kind, and for the other relationships that matter just as much: close friends, chosen family, business partners, whoever you're here to work on things with.
Regardless of your relationship, learning how to say “I feel” is a start, but we aren’t really about teaching you a script or how to perform togetherness better. To us, this work is about being able to be yourselves with each other again: honest, less guarded, and actually trusting one another, not just coexisting or showing up as the partner you think you’re supposed to be. We can start with communication, but understanding why closeness can feel hard, or scary, or unfamiliar, and learning different ways to lean in as yourself, and create safety for the other person to follow, are where shifts start to really be felt, and seen.
Even strong relationships struggle.
This can look like the same overwhelming argument on repeat, realizing that you keep forgetting to appreciate or make time for each other, or loving each other deeply but not knowing how to reconcile your differences (or wondering if you can).
For some relationships, this might also include struggling with what each of you carries into the relationship, including neurodivergence, different cultural backgrounds, trauma histories, or other struggles (grief, anxiety, life stress… it all shows up in our relationships!) that shape how closeness, conflict, or communication feel. Whatever that looks like for you, there's space for it here.
Keep reading to learn more about relationship & couples therapy.
Browse our relationship & couples counsellors further down the page.
Know you want support already? Connect with us below!
Know you want support but not sure where to start?
Our counsellors are people first. We truly believe that no one is broken, even when we feel stuck, overwhelmed, or like something is wrong with us. You’re just human, and being human can be complicated (and sometimes frustrating) to navigate.
Come take your shoes off, curl up with some tea, and let’s make a plan.
Our Find a Counsellor form can connect you with a counsellor who feels like the right fit for you
Challenges in relationships are normal!
Relationship and couples counselling can support you through these shifts.
Our relationships can be one of our greatest sources of joy, but can also be a complex web of unique perspectives, habits, emotions, fears, past relationship experiences, the stuff from childhood that you hoped to never revisit. Inevitably when conflict and differences of opinion arise, its easy to fall into patterns that create more distance and challenge instead of less.
Small frustrations build. Wanting to be seen turns into a storm neither of you meant to start. And it's normal to wonder, after enough of that, what happens next despite wanting to return to a calmer, more meaningful and easeful place.
It may not be easy to admit your relationship needs help, or perhaps be unsure if this type of counselling is really for you. These feelings are normal, and it does take courage to take this step together.
But you don’t have to do it alone.
Our counsellors put the relationship front and centre so you can return to a place of connection, and facing life’s challenges as a team.
Relationship & Couples Counselling for Different Needs
Relationships can struggle in many different ways that deserve support. Some of the concerns our counsellors work with are:
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Communication problems are an obvious reason many come to counselling, but the argument itself is often the beginning of the story. You may already know how to use "I" statements and still find yourselves in the same pattern: one person shutting down while the other pushes for a response, or a disagreement that often escalates before either of you can catch yourselves.
Relationship and couples counselling can help you recognize these patterns as they're happening so that you can pause and go in a different direction, instead of just talking about them afterward. You’ll begin to notice when stonewalling starts, understanding what makes certain topics feel like dealbreakers, or learning what truly matters to each of you in the hard moments. From there, you can build different ways of responding to each other that build connection, compassion and understanding.
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When there has been an affair or another significant breach of trust, couples counselling can provide a place to slow everything down and understand what happened without reducing either partner to a role of "the one who cheated" or "the one who was hurt."
Affair recovery counselling can involve making sense of the rupture, rebuilding trust, understanding the impact on each person, deciding what repair would require, and figuring out whether and how the relationship can move forward.
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Many of our counsellors work with non-monogamous and polyamorous couples and partners, including relationships that are consensually non-monogamous, open, use relationship anarchy, or otherwise outside traditional monogamy.
That means understanding the agreements, needs, boundaries, jealousy, communication patterns and attachment dynamics that actually matter within your relationship, as it's really structured. -
ADHD, autism, AuDHD and other forms of neurodivergence can create specific needs and patterns around communication, sensory needs, routines, emotional regulation, attention, conflict and how each partner experiences closeness. How these impact how we related can be especially important to tend to when one partner is neurodivergent and the other is neurotypical.
Relationship and couples counselling can help you understand these differences without turning them into a battle or increasing shame. The aim is not to make one person communicate or relate more "normally," but to find ways of understanding each other and build a relationship that genuinely works for both of you, based on how you both actually communicate and connect.
Both now affirm the relationship
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Relationship and couples counselling can be about more than communication. You may be struggling with differences in desire, difficulty feeling emotionally or physically close, changes in sexual connection, shame, avoidance, or uncertainty about how to talk about what you actually want.
These conversations can be difficult to have on your own, and many find that challenges in various types of intimacy mirror broader themes in your relationship. Counselling can give you the opportunity to slow things down, understand disconnection and find ways of approaching connection and intimacy that feel safer, spacious and less pressured.
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Trauma doesn't stay neatly in the past, particularly in relationships. Experiences of trauma can shape how you respond to conflict, closeness, trust, touch, vulnerability and perceived rejection. There are often moments when one partner's nervous system is reacting to something that the other partner can't see.
Trauma-informed relationship & couples counselling makes room for those patterns without assuming that either person is the problem. This can include understanding protective responses, creating more safety in the relationship, and finding ways to stay connected even when difficult experiences or strong emotions get activated.
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Online relationship counselling can work well when Vancouver is your home base but getting to an office together all the time isn't practical, when one or both partners travel, when you live apart, or when you simply feel more comfortable talking from home. Our counsellors offer online couples therapy in Vancouver for those who want both in person and online options, and across BC, including virtual couples counselling for partners who need more flexibility.
Your time together doesn't become less important or connective because you're meeting through a screen. You can still slow down difficult conversations, notice what happens between you, and work toward greater trust, communication and connection.
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Marriage counselling in Vancouver isn't only for new married couples, or those in crisis. You can come in because you're stuck in the same cycle of conflict, struggling to reconnect after a major life transition, trying to understand each other better, or wanting to strengthen a relationship that matters deeply to both of you.
Premarital counselling can give you space to talk honestly about the things that tend to become more complicated once you're sharing a life together: communication, conflict, finances, family, intimacy, expectations, values and the ways each of you handles stress. You don't have to wait until something is wrong to have these conversations! You’re welcome to join us in person for a cozy office experience or join us for premarital counselling online.
Meet our Relationship & Couples Counsellors
Finding the right counsellor matters. The following members of our team offer online sessions and have availability for new clients.
We offer free 15-minute consultations so you can connect and ask questions first. You can browse our counsellors yourself or have our intake team help you find a potential fit.
Our counsellors also love supporting individuals with relationship concerns!
If this is you, you can browse our available counsellors by clicking the link above, or click here for more info on what working on your relationship challenges in individual counselling might look like!
How Relationship & Couples Counselling Can Help
The relationships we work with come in every shape you can imagine: long-married partners, new couples still figuring out if this is the one, chosen family, best friends who've been through everything together, or business partners trying not to let old resentments run the company into the ground.
Whatever the shape, the stress often looks familiar: competing needs going unmet, trust slowly eroding, communication that no longer works, baggage from past relationships that was never unpacked, or resentment that's built up over time.
So what does the counselling process actually look like?
The partners and relationships we work with are usually interested in exploring how to make their relationship thrive again in the midst of transitions, mental health struggles, grief, various stages of life and self awareness, as well as those who experience distance and tension as a result of everyday life.
We usually start by understanding what's actually going on underneath for each of you, and as a team, before working on exploring new ways of interacting with each other that foster trust, safety or intimacy where you can each be yourself. Your counsellor isn't there to referee or take sides. They're there to help you actually hear each other, maybe for the first time in a while, so you can each begin to feel valued, accepted and secure in your relationship once again.
All relationships experience difficulties, but there is still hope of reconnecting, particularly for those of you that feel like you’ve lost the person who you once experienced as your ‘safe place’ in the world, or the person who you felt like you could tackle anything with.
The Approaches Our Counsellors Use
Our counsellors draw on a range of approaches used in relationship therapy and couples counselling, including Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Therapy, attachment-focused counselling, relational and somatic approaches, matching the method to what actually fits you and your relationship.
You make sense, and you’re not alone.
Wanting things to be different doesn't mean something's broken
All of our counsellors offer a free 15-minute consultation. This offers you the chance to connect and ask questions about how they work, and get a sense of who you might feel comfortable with. It also helps us understand what you're looking for, so we can help you find a counsellor who feels like a great fit for where you are.
In-person couples counselling and therapy sessions in Vancouver at our Kitsilano clinic (1682 West 7th Ave, Suite 300, Vancouver BC) and online for clients anywhere in British Columbia & beyond.
Frequently Asked Questions About Relationship Counselling:
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Many of our counsellors are trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a well-researched approach to rebuilding connection. You can read more about our EFT-specific work here.
We also integrate other forms of couples counselling such as Gottman and Imago focused therapy. -
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Oh that’s such a great question and really depends on both the relationship and on yourself!
In an ideal world having both a relationship counsellor and individual counsellor you can flex between as needed is the best case scenario (though you don’t necessarily have to see them both at the same time). This way you and your counsellor can decide when a situation calls for a bit more couples work, and what calls for a bit more of a deep dive into individual work.
Individual work can be helpful when there’s a pattern of high anxiety, shut down, or behaviour that’s contributing the relational challenges EVEN when the relationship goes well - but relationship counselling can be really helpful to support you in how to handle these moments as a team.
Likewise, if there’s something that’s challenging in your relationship specifically that cycles even when all parties show up the best they can and you both feel stuck or in disagreement, or things escalate quickly for everyone, this can be a great time for couples counselling (and unpacking your role in this in individual therapy can be super helpful too).
In short, there’s not one right answer. Both can be invaluable, and your counsellor usually will know when something should go to another place to be worked on. Don’t hesitate to ask their opinion! -
Usually, yes, most of the work happens together. Some counsellors also offer individual sessions when you first meet.
Most counsellors view the “relationship” as the client, and will often suggest any individual work be done with a separate counsellor so that they can remain on team ‘relationship’, rather than becoming biased towards one partner, or knowing information that both partners don’t have access to. -
That's really common, and it doesn't mean this won't work. Plenty of people arrive here with one partner more convinced than the other. Patience and willingness to be involved in the process is key and helpful here!
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That uncertainty is a completely valid reason to come in, not something you need to have resolved first. This is definitely something you can share with your counsellor when you start if you feel comfortable.
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Yes absolutely. Please let us know as many details as you feel comfortable with what your relationship looks like and what you’re hoping to work on when you contact us and we will make suggestions for a counsellor who is knowledgable and supportive.
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Yes, while it might be surprising to some, grief is one of the more common reasons couples come in, as it puts pressure on a relationship even when there's no other conflict or historical tension points.
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Yes, several of our counsellors work with intimacy and sexual concerns as part of relationship counselling, not just communication patterns.
RCC, Relationship/Couples Counsellor (She/Her)
Collaborative · Authentic & Human · Gentle Warm & Validating · Humour · Challenges Clients · Can Listen Without Fixing · Skills & Tools · Mind-Body · Land & Spirit Connection · Insight & Patterns · Emotional Focus
TANYA’S BIO & BOOKING →
Tanya brings a calm, grounded presence to the room and provides spaciousness for whatever feelings arise. She doesn't rush to tell you what to do, but stays curious about what matters to you and where you want to go. Tanya is especially drawn to supporting people through the complicated places where we can feel lost, alone or untethered, including when we're caught between cultures, family expectations, old roles and who we're becoming. Her work also makes room for connection with the body, the land and your own inner knowing.
Tanya offers counselling in English and Tagalog.
SPECIALTIES Life Transitions · Relationships & Attachment · Belonging & Loneliness · Anxiety · LGBTQIA+ & BIPOC Clients · Immigration & Multi-Cultural Experiences · Intergenerational Trauma · Cultural Identity · Family Distress · Substance Use · Non-Traditional Relationships
APPROACHES Somatic · Culturally Sensitive · Emotionally Focused · Humanistic · Parts Work · CBT · Trauma-Informed · Humanistic · Neuroaffirming · Relational Justice-Centred · Decolonial · Culturally Sensitive · Spirituality · Land-Based